Back to China

For the last several years, we have talked about going back to China to adopt again.  It is hard to go somewhere like that and see all the things we saw and not go back.  I still see the faces of those children in mismatched clothes at Olivia’s orphanage.  I still remember as if it were yesterday how they crowded around us as soon as we entered the children’s wing of the orphanage—how they came up to us with outstretched arms wanting us (strangers that were not Chinese and did not speak their language) to pick them up and hold them.  It didn’t matter that some were almost as tall as me.  They just wanted to be held.  We probably picked up every child in that orphanage that day and held each one for a short time as we took our tour.  It was summer there when we went and it was HOT.  The orphanage had no air conditioning for the children (the administrative offices had A/C though) and the kids tried to find some relief by hanging out various body parts through the bars in the open windows.  The cribs were all metal with just a piece of plywood covered by a blanket to lie on, but no mattress.  We were allowed to take a couple of Olivia’s friends from the orphanage out to lunch with us along with the director and a couple of the workers.  I felt so bad leaving the orphanage later that afternoon.  Several of the children (including the ones we took to lunch with us) thought they were leaving with us too just like Olivia and they began crying when they were told they could not go.  I think of Olivia’s best friend there often—she was several years older than Olivia and took care of Olivia as if she were her own.  She helped her walk, helped feed her, played with her and called her Nan Nan.  I wonder what she thought in the days after Olivia left, came back to visit the orphanage with her new family and left again only this time for good.  I pray she has found her forever family too. 

We knew we had to go back.  We always knew it would happen, but never really put a timeline on it.  We were always waiting until we had saved up the money to afford it again or until after Olivia’s next cleft lip and palate surgery or until we had moved to a larger home with more space or….

 Well, we moved to a larger home and although Olivia still has another cleft lip and palate surgery looming over us early next year and although we still don’t have the money saved up for this next adoption, we just know it is time. 

The paperwork has been started and we are about ½ through our home study now.  We are going through the special needs program again in China and hope to be matched with a girl between the ages of 3 to 5 in the next 12 to 18 months.  We are excited, humbled, but also a little anxious to see how God is going to work out all the details for us this time around.