Six Months

Six months ago today, we met Heidi for the very first time in that Civil Affairs office in Nanning, China.  We caught a quick glimpse of her as she came in the office with her orphanage staff—she was wearing a long sleeve dress, tights, tennis shoes, winter coat and had a purse slung across her chest.  She showed no emotion on her face while Olivia was beyond excited at that point and could not wait to meet her new little sister.  

I cannot imagine the fear that ran through her little body as I picked her up and even greater anxiety she must have felt as we left the Civil Affairs office with her.  It was heart wrenching to watch her grieve over the next few days with us—she would be find one minute and then completely fall apart crying hysterically standing up throwing her head down on the bed not wanting to be touched or consoled. 

Little by little we all adjusted and found our new normal.  Heidi had several doctor appointments once we got home.  She was seen at the International Adoption Clinic where she was tested for all sorts of diseases, had her titers drawn to confirm which immunizations she had already received, met with an occupational therapist and family therapist there as well.  The doctor we saw at the International Adoption Clinic decided to do a CT scan since her medical records from China indicated that they had done one on her earlier and we weren’t quite sure why.  Something came back abnormal on the scan and we were referred to a neurologist at Children’s Hospital.  Fortunately, the neurologist said she looks great and we will go back later this year just for a follow up. 

There were some challenging weeks when we first got home.  For one, Heidi was super attached to me but not so much to Brian.  I could not walk out of the room and leave her with Brian without her completely breaking down.  We also noticed that she was very compliant, which would normally be great (who doesn’t want a well behaved child that never disobeys or gets into trouble?), but we were told that this could actually be a sign of previous abuse.  If we scold her for something or tell her no in a firm voice, she immediately tears up, covers her face with her hands and sobs.  Over the past couple of months she has begun to tell us “no” sometimes—I have been told this is good thing…. :)

Heidi is learning new things every day.  She can speak in short sentences and has mastered the art of telling on Olivia using her own made up sign language if necessary to make sure we know exactly what happened. :)  Some things stay the same--Heidi still has to have a "pursey" on every time before we walk out of the house and she is still not a big fan of the dog--while other things change like she always pats the space beside her on her bed at night for daddy to lie down with her. 

Heidi adores Olivia!  Every morning when we drop Olivia off at school, Heidi says “I love you Olivia, have a good day” and when we pick Olivia up from school in the afternoons Heidi usually will ask Olivia how her day was.  Some days this really annoys Olivia though!

Sometimes when I go into their room to wake Heidi up from her nap, I watch her sleep and wonder what the first 2 ½ years of her life was really like.  Did she have friends?  Did she get much one-on-one attention?  Did she have to take care of herself even at a young age?  Why didn’t anyone choose to adopt her?  If we hadn’t adopted her would she still be there waiting on a family all because she had a scary diagnosis that did not turn out to be accurate at all? 

We are so blessed that Heidi is part of our family because now that we have her here with us we cannot imagine life without her.  She is my sweet baby Hei and my heart is full.

Sweet Home Alabama

We met our guide in the lobby of our hotel around 7:15 Thursday morning to head to the airport in Guangzhou to get checked in for our first flight of the day to Beijing.  Although we were so looking forward to finally going home, Brian and I were also dreading the long day ahead of us on three different flights.

The airport was very humid and warm, but we were all dressed in pants and carrying jackets because it was going to be chilly when we made it home.  When we got to our gate we were on the bottom floor of the airport--ground level.  When it was boarding time, we had to all board a bus first and then we were driven out to the airplane and had to board going up the steps outside.  The first flight was about 3 hours long and I sat with Heidi and Olivia in our row of four and Brian sat a dozen rows ahead of us in another seat.  This plane was really crowded, but the seats were a decent size and each seat had a TV screen with programs in both English and Chinese to choose from so the girls stayed entertained for the most part.  We had packed a set of headphones for Heidi to use, but she didn't really like them on her ears for too long so she mainly just watched her screen in silence.

 At the Beijing airport we had almost a 4 hour layover but because we were switching from China Air to American Airlines, we had to exit through the arrivals section , get a new boarding pass and go back through security.  When we came through Beijing on our way to China, we knew that once you made it past security there were only two restaurants to choose from on that side--a KFC and a noodle house.  We decided to eat first before going through security because they had a few more options.  We ate at Pizza Hut and ordered one regular pepperoni pizza and a side of spaghetti per Olivia's request.  The regular size pizza was about a 12" pizza with small slices so we were glad we had the spaghetti on the side.

The flight from Beijing to Dallas was just over 12 hours long, but luckily unlike the plane ride to China, this flight was not full.  We paid a little extra to get the very last two rows in the back of the plane which were rows of two.  Every other row had seats of three on one side, three in the middle and three on the other side.  We had extra room up against our window seats where we could actually stand or walk from one row to the other there which gave us a little more room to spread out.  This flight was also uneventful and both girls did well--they watched TV, ate snacks and slept.

At the Dallas airport we had to make it through both immigration for Heidi and then customs too, but again we had a longer layover of 5 hours here.  Once we made it through immigration and customs we had dinner at TGI Friday.  I asked if they had any sweet tea and was so excited when they said YES!  I did have a lot of tea while in China, but their "sweet" tea was really just a glass of room temperature tea that came with a small container of this clear syrup you could pour into your tea to sweeten it.  It just wasn't the same.

After leaving our hotel in China early Thursday morning (which would have been around 5:15 PM Wednesday evening Alabama time), we finally made it home to Birmingham at 11:45 PM Thursday evening (or 1:45 PM Friday afternoon China time).  By the time we arrived home, everyone was wide awake because even after all the traveling we were still on China time.  We finally all went to bed sometime before 2 AM and slept until almost 2 PM!

Now that we have been home for a couple days, we are all back on Alabama time and Heidi is adjusting really well.  She was not a huge fan of the dog the first day, but they are slowly becoming friends.

 Olivia and Heidi share a bedroom and have a set of bunk beds.  The first night they slept together in the bottom bunk, but Heidi woke up several hours later and made it to the living room where she began crying because she  was lost.  We have been introducing her to our house a little at a time so we don't overwhelm her too much at once.  She loves the kitchen in the playroom and like to "cook".  She rode around in the dune buggy with Olivia for a little while out front the other day, but she wanted to drive and since she can't do that yet she liked pushing an empty play stroller around instead.  We have a trampoline in the backyard we haven't played on yet and she still has a scooter and tricycle to check out too.

We plan on keeping it pretty low key around here for the next few weeks to let her get  used to everything and to realize that this is home.  She has been with us for a week in one hotel in Nanning and then we packed up and spent almost another week at another hotel in Guangzhou so it may take a little time for her to understand that this is permanent.

The night before last, Brian found Olivia and Heidi wide awake with their bedroom light on at 3 AM playing in their room.  Olivia told Brian when he walked in and "caught" them that she is so glad she has a sister! :)

Day 12: Last Day in China

We woke up a lttle later today and had some breakfast.  Brian grabbed a couple pieces of bread fromt the breakfast buffet so we could feed the fish later that are in the pond outside our hotel.  The girls have been wanting to do this for days, but the last couple of days have been busy and by the time we remember it each day it is already dark out.

After breakfast, we came upstairs and started packing some because we need to see if we will have to buy an extra piece of luggage to take home wiht us.  Although we have slowly emptied out some of the items we brought with us like snacks, gifts for guides, etc we also have more we are taking home like souvenirs, birthday gifts and all the miscellaneous items we needed to buy here once we got Heidi.  

We went out to the waterfall and coy pond area late this morning to feed all the fish.  While Olivia was making sure every fish had a chance to eat some of her bread, Heidi was busy taking turns eating a piece of the bread and then sharing a piece with the fish.  

For lunch, we walked down to an Italian restaurant called Oggi.  We had heard great things about this place, but had not made it oveer to this restaurant yet.  We orederd a Riveria pizza--it had cheese, tomatoa suace, and basil.  We alos had milkshakes there for dessert!  They were thin and not ice cold, but Brian said they were "Guangzhou" cold because here they don't really esrve drinks with ice in them.  Even when you order a bottled water at a restaurant here they come out chilled but not cold--almost like they were in a refrigerator that is old or doesn't work well.  The pizza was really good though!  We should have found this place earlier in our trip because we would have definitely visitied it more than once.

On our walk back to the hotel we took a detour and walked down a few streets we had not ventured own yet.  We passed by several produce stands and meat markets where the meat was hanging out in the open air.  Just another reason not to eat the meat here at the local Chinese establishments. :)  

For dinner tonight, we went back to the Mexican restaurant but it wasn't as good as it was the first time we ate there.  Afterwards we walked over to Haagen Daz and everyone got an ice crea,.  Olivia and I had Belgium chocolate, Brian had milk tea and Heidi had strawberry.  Besides the milk tea , they also had green tea ice cream.  

On our walk back to the hotel I told Brian that Guangzhou reminds me of Vegas.  THere are a ton of lights everywhere--all the buildings light up and flash with different colors, they have the big screen digital advertisements, palm trees, the traffic is crazy and there are lots of tall buildings everywhere you look.  Imaine Vegas, but much more crowded and with horns honking 24/7!

It is now close to 9:30 PM here.  We meet our guide in the lobby of our hotel tomrrow morning at 7:15 to head back to the Guangzhou airport.  We will fly from Guangzhou to Beijing, Beijing to Dallas and Dallas to Birmingham.  We won't arrive back in Birmingham until almost midnight Friday evening.  Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day.  Although we have really enjoyed our time here in China, we are so ready to get home at the same time.  I am ready to be back on some kind of routine, to be around more English speaking people, not have to wonder everytime I walk into a public restroom if they will only have the squatty potty option, have more space than a hotel room, actually be able to dry our clothes instead of hanging them on a clothesline in the bathroom and to eat some real American/western style food!  

Day 11: Consulate Appointment

We met our guide this morning at 7:30 in the lobby of our hotel and headed to the Consulate office here in Guangzhou to apply for Heidi's visa and to take our oath.  Once you have had your Consulante apointment, China recommends waiting about 48 hours before traveling out of the country just to ensure that they have sufficient time to get your child's visa to you.  For our appoointment we were not allowed to take any cameras or phones in with us and had to go through security before entering the building as well.  The only pictures we have were taken outside of the building.

After finishing up at the consulate office, we met back with our travel group and headed to Shamian Island to eat lunch and do any last minute shopping we had left.  Each of the other families in our ttavel group brought a sibling to China so Olivia has had fun hanging out with the other two siblings here.  While on Shamian Island, Olivia bought a fan at one fo the stores today to give to her "new" friend in our travel group.  Later, that little girl gave Olivia a bracelet she bought in a store there too that matches one she also bought herself.

This evening was the dinner cruise that was scheduled for our group.  We debated going or not going because it would mean returning a little late to the hotel and it had alreadybeen a   busy day.  We decided to go ahead and go though since tomorrow was going to be a free day for us.

The cruise was on the Pearl River in Guangzhou.  We did this same dinner cruise years ago when we were here with Olivia.  Our hotel then was right off the Pearl River and our room faced the river.  At night it was abnoxious because boats would ride up and down the river with these bright flashing lights and even with the curtains pulled lights would flash into our room all night.  The boats are still all it up and so are many of the buildings along the Pearl river--it amkes for a beautiful evening cruise.

The dinner cruise though is totally a "Chinese thing".  Around here many times when something is said in Mandarin or Cantonese, it will also be broadcast in English too like at the airport.  However, there was no English used on the dinner cruise, only a squatty potty available and the food was served buffet style--all Chinese favorites.  Brian is a more adventurous eater than I am so I stuck to the fried rice, an egg roll and somet kind of bread  on a dessert tray.  There were many meat dishes with noodles, rice, stir fry veggies but my personal policy here in China is if I don't know what the meat is I don't eat it. :)

When we finished eating, wer were able to go above and stand on the deck outside.  Heidi was not a fan of this though and cried and pointed to the stairs leading back down the majority of the time we were up on the deck.  I so wish I could share some pictures of the dinner cruise, but when we pulled our camera out of the backpack it had been bumped on at some point and the battery was completely dead.  Olivia looked in her purse to pull out her camera and then discovered that she had left it back at the hotel room.  We then even pulled my cell phone out to use it to take pictures, but it was dead too after being on most of hte day.

We have one more full day left in China!

Day 10: Free Day

This morning our adoption agency group was planning on going to visit the Guangzhou Zoo.  It was going to be an all day thing and we were told we would need to pack lunches.  After thinking about it yesterday, we made the decision to opt out of the zoo trip today because tomorrow is going to be a long day too starting out at 7:30 in the morning meeting our guide in the lobby to head to our consulante appointment to take our oath.

Olivia was able to sleep in until a little after 8:00 this morning, but Heidi was up by 6:00 so there was no sleeping in for mommy and daddy.  Once we finsiehd breakfast, we went to a local bank to exchange some money.  Right now we get about  6.31 RMB for every US dollar.  After exchanging some money, we got in a taxi and headed back to Shamian Island to finissh our "birthday gift" shopping for Heidi and other miscellaneous souvenir shopping as well.

Yesterday, we only had about an hour on Shamian Island before it was time to meet some other adoptive families for dinner so we were only able to hit a few stores.  Some of the stores close around 6:30PM because they are given only a limited amount of power so they must close a little early.   We went in one store today and there were no lights turned on--the owner told me they did not have any power in their store today so she would pull things out of the back and bring them up front near the windows so we could look.

Most of the stores are HOT because the weather here is very warm and humid, even in the winter.  Many of the stores are fairly small almost like the size of a Claire's in the mall at home but even smaller.  They keep their doors open all day because several of them have no A/C at all and just a few fans placed thorughout the store.  The stores that do have A/C have those portable units that they only turn on when they have customers walking around in their store.

Today we were anxious to see if Susan's Place was still on the island.  When we adopted Olivia years ago this was one of our favorite stores on Shamian Island and we almost visited it daily and would have tea with the shop owner, Dong.  He knew us by name when we were here last time because we saw him so often and  even if we weren't shopping, he would call out to us to come have some tea with him in his store.  We headed in the direction of Susan's Place first and sure enough it was still there and after walking in we saw Dong!  He looks just the same to me as he did 6 years ago and he said he remembered us as well.  We had our picture taken with him all the years back sitting at his little table drinking tea and before we left today we had another picture taken with him at the same table.  He made us two different kinds of tea to try today and sold us one of them.  We also bought two English/Chinese Bibles from his store and a silk blanket for Heidi.  It was so good to see him again!

We were able to finish up our birthday gift shopping for Heidi.  We bought her a wooden Chian province puzzle, chops (a special stamp they make here with the child's Chinese name), silk fabric to take home and have made into something for her later on, silk Bible cover/carrying case, silk passport holder, hairbows, Chinese/English first words baby books, a purse made out of beautiful China doll material, children's Chinese music CD, etc.  In all we bought her 16 little gifts so she will have something to open every year on her birthday from China.  And of course we bought squeaky shoes too! 

Before we left Shamian Island for the day, we stopped in at the White Swan hotel.  This is where we stayed the entire time we were in Guangzhou last time around with Olivia.  The hotel has been competely renovated, but we heard a few things were still intact so we wanted to take Olivia there to see the hotel.  The waterfall is the same as when we were there years ago and they still have the jade ship in the front lobby, but just about everything else was different. 

This afternoon, Brian and Olivia walked to a few shops around our hotel while I stayed in the room with Heidi so she could nap.  Someone had to stay behind anyway because we were waiting for a guy to bring our laundry by our room.  Yesterday we had more dirty clothes than clean clothes and Olivia wore her very last clean outfit today so we had to send out for laundry.  Our guide told us not to use the laundry service through the hotel because it is so expensive so we used one of her contacts instead. We sent out three plastic bags  (think Target or Walmart bags) of laundry yesterday and it was all cleaned, folded and returned by this  afternoon.  It cost us 227 RMB or about $35 USD. 

Heidi seems to be doing really well.  She is learning a little bit of English already and will wave and say "bye bye", "good job"  after sitting on the potty and  when we tell her to go get her shoes on she heads straight to the wardrobe where she puts them when we come int he door and pulls them out to put them on.  She is also very good at letting us know what she doesn't like by shaking her hand and head to tell us no.  She loves spending time with Olivia and still tries to copy evyerthing she does.  Olivia was in the "new sister honeymoon" period for the first week with Heidi, but now she tells us that "Heidi can be a brat somteimes". :)  And so it begins....

Day 9: Shopping Day

We met our guide this morning at 9:00 in the lobby of our hotel and headed out with two other families with our same adoption agency to visit the Chen Clan Academy (also known as the Cantonese Folk Art Museum).  They have a lot of intricate wood carvings there, screen paintings, pottery, and silk work.  We spent about an hour there walking around and visiting a few of the shops. Olivia bought a necklace for herself that actually has a piece of rice that has been carved into a shape.

Once w left the Chen Clan Academy, we headed to the pearl and jade market--it turned out to be the exact same market we visitied 6 years ago when we were here with Olivia!  We bought Heidi a pearl necklace and bracelet that we will save for her for her wedding day.  The store we bought the pearls in was the same store we bought Olivia's pearls from and just like back then, if you spent so much money you got a free pair of pearl earrings too.  At this particular pearl makret, you get to hand pick your strand of pearls and they will string the necklace and bracelet for you right there.  We were also able to pick out each pearl we wanted for the earrings and they put them together for us as a set. 

Then we went upstairs to the jade market (again we went tot he same store that we bought Olivia's jade from) and purchased a jade necklace for Heidi that she will get  as a high school graduation gift. Because the shop owners were giving our guide a discount this day, we went ahead and bought a jade bracelet for me and Olivia as well.  It turns out that November 11th was "black Friday" here in China so they still had some pretty good sales going on.

Heidi was shopped out by the time we finisehd at the market so we headed back to our hotel so she could nap.

Before we traveled to China, we connected with a group of other adoptive families on Facebook--a group that would be traveling during the same dates.  We decided to all meet up at Lucy's tonight for dinner.  Lucy's is a western style restauarnt on Shamian Island (when we adopted Olivia we stayed at a hotel on Shamian Island the whole two weeks) that we really love. We had to take a taxi there from our hotel, and we left a little early so we could visit a few shops before meeting everyone for dinner.  At dinner, Olivia had a quesadilla, fruit salad and a banan split for dessert. We ordered Heidia a fruit salad and peanut butter and jelly sandwich--she loved the sandwich!  She shared a scoop of chooclate ice cream with me for dessert.  Brian had spaghetti stir fry and an espresso ice cream for dessert. 

It was really neat to visit some of the shops on Shamian Island as some are still there from when we stayed there previously.  We even recognized a couple of the shop owners.  We bought a traditional Chinese dress for both Olivia and Heidi, silk shoes for Heidi, shoes for Olivia and a Chinese silk tunic for me.  We bought several other small gift type items there tonight too--some as souvenirs for others when we return and some are for the girls.  When we adopted Olivia, we made a point to buy her enough small gift items from China to be able to give her one on each birthday.  For instance, this year Olivia received a wooden puzzle of China with each piece representing a province.  Because we did this for Oliva, we are doing the same for Heidi this time around.  We also plan on purchasing several traditional Chinese dresses for both girls to wear for the next several years for Chinese New Year--it is always more special to wear their Chinese outfits when you actually bought them in China rather than ordering them online. :)

We didn't get too many of the birthday gifts marked off our list this evening so we plan on returning to Shamian Island again tomorrow if the weather is nice.  Olivia has already requested to eat at Lucy's if we make another trip out there on our own.

Day 8: Hello Guangzhou

Today was our first full day in Guangzhou.  Olivia was excited to be back in her province because this time she will remember it when we leave.  After breakfast this mronign Brian took Heidi to her medical exam where she had some blood drawn, was tested for TB and had a general phsyical exam to be sure she is ok to leave the country.  Brian said she only cired for a couple minutes when they took some blood, but other than that she did great!

While Brian was with Heidi at her medical exam, I spent the morning with Olivia exploring the hotel and the area surrounding our hotel. We found a Subway, McDonald's, KFC, a Mexican restaurant,  Pizza Hut and an Italian restaurant.  There are also a ton of noodle houses around here but I was beyond excited to find many "western" style restaurants so close for a change.

We all met back up in the hotel room around lunch time and decided to go to McDonald's.  Back at home, Olivia requests McDonald's on a regular basis and we normally turn her down and suggest other options, but I was all for it today. :)  The McDonald's here has a few touchscreen kiosk type areas close to the registers where you can place your order and pay, then just wait on your order to be ready avoiding the line altogether.  They also had an actual "McCafe" area set up like a samll Starbucks in a Target where they sold their coffee drinks and pastries.

After lunch, we came back to the hotel and went swimming at the outdoor pool.  The water was FREEZING even though it was a pretty warm day out.  Olivia insisted on swimming for a while though, but she was the only one to actually fully immerse herself in the water.  Heidi wasn't scared of the water at all and enjoyed playing in it even as she shivered. 

I took both girls to the hotel's playroom area this afternoon and we met a couple other adoptive families there.  The playroom is more like a play suite with a library in one room--it had paperback books for adults, National Geographics and children's books.  Some books were in English while others were in Chinese.  Olivia picked out a Junie B. Jones book and brought it back to our room to read tonight.  Another room in the playroom area was a lounge type area for the parents with a mini fridge stocked with bottled waters, a couple of sofas, and an assortment of teas to try out.  Finally the playroom had a small plastic castle with a slide, balls, legos and a few riding toys.  I am sure we will make a trip to the playroom area everyday!

For dinner tonight we tried out the Mexian restaurant near our hotel.  We ordered some nachos for an appetizer, chicken nuggests for Olivia per her request, chicken quesadilla for Heidi, hard shell chicken tacos for me and enchiladas for Brian.  Everything was really pretty good, but they do not serve chips and salsa like they do back home.  Because we chose a more "western" style restaurant we spent about $50 on our meal again.  If we stick to the local Chinese noodle houses we can get by on about $20 or les for everyone.

Tomorrow morning we meet up with our guide and a couple other families to do some local touring and then visit the pearl and jade markets.  When we were here in Guangzhou the last time around with Olivia we purchased a pearl necklace and earrings as well as a jade neckace too.  We are saving the jade necklace for her high schol graduation gift and the pearls will be for her wedding.  Last time around they let us hand pick the pearls and they strung each necklace and made the earrings for us right there.  We are hoping to do the same for Heidi tomorrow. We